The NotPerfectButItWorksOutInTheEnd Tale
by Mystrana
Summary: A couple of fairytale parodies! Now up - a screwed up version of 'cinderella'
1. A weird blend of a lot of tales

Ok, so! Once upon a time! (Ah, the classical beginning).  
  
Once upon a time there was a beautiful girl named Kagome. *Kagome is thrown onto the stage, where she proceeds to stand up and look beautiful*  
  
Kagome was from a very poor family. *Kagome's clothes turn into rags* but she didn't mind because she had a loving family *Her loving parents appear* and a cute fluffy fox-boy for a brother *Shippo appears* and they lived happily together, in a small house *A cardboard box appears* No, not that small! *A small house replaces the cardboard box* Ok, better.  
  
One day, Kagome's loving parents decided to marry her off so she could be happy. They married her to a really cute guy named Inu Yasha. *Inu Yasha is thrown onto the stage, and lands ungracefully on his butt* Inu Yasha had dog ears which Kagome loved to pull.  
  
*Kagome pulls on Inu Yasha's ears, giggling. 'Hey!' complains Inu Yasha, and tries to get up, but Kagome says 'Sit boy!' and Inu Yasha proceeds to eat dirt*  
  
On the day of their marriage, many many many people came to see and wish them well *A bunch of people crowd into the room. Kagome wonders where they all came from since she had never seen them before in her life, but go figure*  
  
Among these people was the god of the underworld, a beautiful guy by the name of Naraku. *Naraku is thrown onto the stage, but he lands gracefully and approaches Kagome and Inu Yasha*  
  
Naraku really liked the beautiful Kagome, but now she was married! He was very furious, but pretended not to be, and graciously presented them with a bottle of expensive wine. *Naraku gives them a bottle of wine. 'Thank you' says Kagome, smiling at him. Naraku smiles back, super happy that his self- appointed goddess smiled at him*  
  
Now, this wasn't your ordinary expensive wine. (nod nod) This is the Cursed Wine, and whoever drinks it would be trapped in a deep, deep sleep until their true destined love gave them a kiss. (Awwwww.)  
  
So, anyway, Naraku smiled, and vanished. *Poof* And Inu Yasha and Kagome lived happily ever after.  
  
. . . You're kidding, right? You really didn't believe that was the end, did you??  
  
Of course not! I knew it.  
  
So, Inu Yasha opened the bottle of wine, and while Kagome was chatting with some party guests. *Kagome smiles and talks to the guests who are just standing around. One of them anxiously asks, 'When do we get paid for coming here?' A mystical spectral voice answers, 'When I feel good and ready to pay you! Now, get ready to act sympathetic!' 'Why?'*  
  
Well, the poor party guests didn't ask 'why' for long. After about a second Inu Yasha landed on the ground with a thunk  
  
(Gasp!)  
  
"Inu Yasha! Inu Yasha!" cried out Kagome, running to her fallen husband. Inu Yasha was out for the count. *Someone begins counting, and Kagome smacks them* Naraku laughed as he watched Kagome desperately try to revive her husband. *Naraku laughs fakely, and then pops into the scene*  
  
Naraku knew what had to be done to revive Inu Yasha. * 'The only way to revive him,' Naraku says, 'If for a kiss from his destined love!' So Kagome tries to revive Inu Yasha with a kiss, but nothing happens* (Dun dun dun!)  
  
Obviously, Kagome was quite broken up about this. She cried and cried and cried, because she truly loved Inu Yasha. And if this was a really stupid fairy tale, her tears would have revived Inu Yasha, and everything would be all fine. But of course that wasn't about to happen.  
  
*'Oh Inu Yasha,' sobs Kagome. 'I know the one who can break the spell,' Naraku tells her, whispering into her ear. 'But there is a price to pay . . . there is always a price to pay . . . are you willing to pay?' Kagome nods, still sobbing. 'Anything for my dear Inu Yasha!'*  
  
So Naraku smiled and knew it was time to finish his plan. He clapped his hands to summon his friend, Fluffy (Who did have another name, but it will not be used in this fic).  
  
*'A kiss from this man shall reawaken your love. In return, you must come off with me.' Says Naraku. Kagome looks sad, and looks at Inu Yasha. 'I love Inu Yasha, but my kiss did not revive him.' She pauses. 'Ok, I'll do it.'*  
  
As Kagome agreed, Naraku grinned wickedly, and Fluffy kissed Inu Yasha *'Ewww, incest!' says one person. Another person takes a shoe and whacks the first person. 'It's only half-incest, you dork.'*  
  
Inu Yasha woke up. *'Ow, I have such a headache!* And everyone cheered. (Yay). But Kagome knew the price had to be paid. And so, she went off with Naraku.  
  
But of course, that wouldn't make a good ending. In fact, unless this was a sad story, that ending sucked! So . . .  
  
*One Year Later*  
  
Kagome looked over the world, as she could do, since she was now the goddess of the underworld. She saw her once-husband, Inu Yasha. He was living with Fluffy *A house pops up with Fluffy and Inu Yasha waving merrily inside it* She realized that some things were just not meant to be, and went off to find her husband to finish the story off happily ever after.  
  
Literally.  
  
THE END!  
  
(Hides her face in shame) 


	2. Cinderella

I have decided to continue to kind of parody fairytales, so here we go with . . .  
  
The Story Of Narakurella!  
  
Once upon a time there lived a man who was really quite bishounen. He had long, black hair and amazing eyes. But, alas, he lived with his bishounen (and bishoujo) stepfamily, and none of them were as bishounen as him, so they decided to do something about it.  
  
(Sesshoumaru: "Well, there's no way I'll let you look prettier than me, so . . .")  
  
They made him wear a baboon suit around the house and do all their chores, and were generally mean to poor Narakurella.  
  
(Stepfamily: "Haha, you suck.")  
  
Miroku and Sango, Narakurella's stepbrother and stepsister, generally ordered him to cover up for them while they went out - with each other, or with other people. Sesshoumaru, Narakurella's stepgaurdian, would sit around for hours on end making Narakurella brush his hair.  
  
(Miroku: "Narakurella! I'm going out with this hot chick from town, but if Sango asks, I'm, ummm, buying groceries."  
  
Naraku: (Politely nods and decides it wouldn't be a good idea to tell Miroku that Sango told him to Miroku the same thing while she went out with some guy.)  
  
So, all in all, life sucked for Narakurella, and he had to wear a baboon suit too.  
  
(Naraku: (Dully) "Yay."  
  
But then, one day, a messenger came by, telling everyone that the fair lady Kagome was to have a ball to decide who her prince would be. All could go, and Narakurella wanted to go to. He had heard tales of this princess Kagome, it was said she was the fairest in the land.  
  
So, he got up his courage to ask his stepgaurdian to let him go, figuring that they couldn't be THAT mean to him.  
  
Well, obviously, he was wrong.  
  
(Naraku: "Sesshoumaru-sama, may I go to the ball?"  
  
Sesshoumaru: "No."  
  
Naraku: "Well, aren't you going to tell me if I can make an outfit for myself, I can?"  
  
Sesshoumaru: (Huge sigh, as if asking that was the biggest question ever) "Fine, fine, if you can make an outfit, you can go. But you have to make Sango and Miroku outfits first, and they'd better be good?"  
  
Naraku: (tentatively) "What about you?"  
  
Sesshoumaru: "Like I'd let YOU touch my outfits!")  
  
And so, Narakurella started to work on a dress for Sango and a suit-type kimono for Miroku. He worked very hard, and stayed up very late, even though it was quiet hard to sew when your hands are inside a sleeveless (and no arm holes either) baboon suit.  
  
He worked until the wee hours of the morning, and finally came up with two spectacular outfits. And just in time, too, as Miroku and Sango had both returned from their dates, and were both quite please to realize they had been with each other.  
  
(Miroku: "But isn't this incest?"  
  
Sango: "Eh, not really. We're not REALLY family, we're only stepfamily."  
  
Miroku: "Works for me!"  
  
Naraku: "Look! I made you outfits for the ball."  
  
Miroku: "Ummm, ok."  
  
Sango: "Thanks . . ."  
  
Naraku: (Happily skips off to go make his outfit. But, oh, you can't tell he's skipping because he's wearing that damn baboon suit.) )  
  
Miroku and Sango loved their outfits, and Sesshoumaru was too busy making his own for any of them to order him around that morning, and Narakurella used every minute of his strange freedom to work on the perfect outfit.  
  
The only problem was, as soon as he was done, Sesshoumaru decided he needed extra fabric, and stole the shirt of the outfit. And then, in a fight with Sango, Miroku accidentally tore the pants to his outfit, and Narakurella had to use material from his own outfit to fix that.  
  
And so, he was left with a pair of pants, one leg of which had been half cut off.  
  
(Sesshoumaru: "See you at the ball!"  
  
Miroku: "Sorry, kinda, about the outfit."  
  
Sango: "It was all your fault!"  
  
Miroku: "WAS NOT!"  
  
Naraku: (Just sorta blankly stares and nods)  
  
Well, of course, once they were gone, he went into the Magically Appearing Garden to cry.  
  
But in about two seconds, he felt a little prick on his chest. So he peered down, and smacked the little thing on his chest.  
  
(Naraku: "Now what the heck is this?"  
  
Myouga: "I'm your fairy godflea!"  
  
Naraku: (Blinks)  
  
Myouga: "Well, I am!")  
  
Narakurella was astonished as, right before his eyes, a passing ant became a carriage (black, of course) and some black beans became some black horses.  
  
(Naraku: "Can one little flea do all of that?"  
  
Myouga: "Well. Duh."  
  
Naraku: "Fine, can you do something about my baboon suit, then?")  
  
Myouga had given him transportation, but Narakurella still needed one thing - an outfit. So, with a wave of the tiny wand, Myouga changed Narakurella's baboon suit into a lovely outfit.'  
  
And after the customary 'midnight' warning, Narakurella went off to the ball.  
  
(Naraku: "There's the princess! And she's beautiful!"  
  
Princess Kagome: (smiles at him) "Would you like to dance?"  
  
Miroku: (Butts in) "I would!"  
  
Princess Kagome: (Smiles at him) "Maybe later, kay?"  
  
Miroku: "Sure. By the way, would you give birth to my child?"  
  
Princess Kagome: (Smiles at him) "No.")  
  
So he and the princess danced for quite awhile, and quite suddenly, it was midnight.  
  
Narakurella heard the first bells ring, and then he realized that he had to get away. But Kagome's grip was like steel, and before everyone, his outfit turned back into the baboon suit.  
  
Oh, but this story has a happy ending.  
  
You see, it turns out that the princess had a fetish for guys in baboon suits, so she married Narakurella, and everyone lived happily ever after.  
  
(Oh, and Sesshoumaru got Inuyasha, and it's only half incest!!!!)  
  
END. 


End file.
